First Weekend Ch. 02
Posted on: Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 in: UncategorizedShe didn’t find it unusual to be wearing a leather collar for breakfast. She didn’t find it unusual that he was discussing The Story of O with her. She didn’t find it odd that she was, otherwise, naked, but that he was dressed in pants and a teeshirt. It was warm, and she felt at ease in a way she couldn’t describe, but which she knew had some relationship to having been in a family home for so many years. Today she was not mother, or wife, and because she was not, she could be naked and collared. The thought felt good. She moved easily against the heavy damask cloth of the seat and found something reassuring in the friction of the nap of the cloth against a bruised portion of skin on her thigh. His voice was hypnotic, but not overpowering; she had a visceral loathing of men who lectured her, but there was a gentleness of manner that drew her into the private world he was describing.
“We all want to be Sir Stephen with O waiting for us at Roissy or at Anne Marie’s training house, but we have to work, or make a living, or make a home for someone who provides us with a living…” She felt brave enough to respond; were slaves supposed to be silent?
“You don’t seem to do too badly.” He paused for a moment, and she wondered if this was going to be the occasion for some masterful rebuke. Instead he laughed.
“You’re right, and if I wanted to I could sell all my investments and go somewhere less interesting and try and live off the proceeds, but I’d rather keep working and enjoy a better standard of living. It’s the standard flaw of porn, and of lots of conventional books. You don’t want to read about me buttering my toast, or how I earn money unless it’s sexy. Everyday life can be tedious in the extreme.” She wanted to argue back, to say that everyday life could be fun and exciting. Part of her, too, wanted to argue that this constant sense of sexual charge could be part of her everyday life, that she wished it were part of her everyday life. Was this role play? Is he encouraging me to argue with me so he can beat me? Am I meant to incite him? She went on.
“Lots of people think architecture and design is sexy. It’s better than being a kitchen porter….” He put the butter knife down before gesturing.
“It is, but it’s not all schemes like this. Often it’s just small scale extensions, or play areas on somebody else’s projects…”
“Play areas or play rooms?” He laughed, and extended his arms.
“Play areas. Councils and developers like me because I come up with safe play areas for kids using recycled materials. I’m doing natural looking BMX and skateboarding areas for a charity. Lots of recycled tyres and old railway sleepers, and bits of scaffolding that looks like it fell off the back of a wagon. Boring but it pays the fuel bills.”
She caught him staring at her breasts. Could she stop herself hunching over, concealing them against the table? She straightened her back, relaxed, began to manage her breathing. Not looking to him for approval was one of the ways of getting his approval, she’d learned that when he’d stood over her last night, after the beating and the hard sex, and had told her to make herself come. He’d slapped her breasts sharply, and told her to focus on making herself come, not on him. She’d been confused by his i sistencethat she was the sex object, not him, but it was starting to make a kind of sense.
“Think about O again. You can tell that book was written by a woman. The details about her stockings, the awareness of the everyday discomforts of dressing, that way her hair is brushed, the way Rene and Stephen wanted her, it’s such feminine writing. But it’s porn. Can I ask you to dress like that every day? While you’re at home with two kids and trying to keep your family together, or running from home to lectures at university?”
“I could try. Why shouldn’t I? If it pleases you…” He stood up and walked away from the table, towards one of the arched windows; he’d told her this room had been part of the vestry, but she wasn’t sure what that was. It was an anteroom, she understood that, off to the side of the sanctuary, a place of lower ceilings and warmer floors, and a kitchen of hand made units and expensive appliances that she wanted to whisk back to Denton with her. The windows looked out on a garden shrouded in autumnal mist and the shadows of trees soon to lose their leaves.
Never mind the trees…Make him answer.
“I mean, what does it matter if I have to take a little more care or a little more time if it pleases you?”
He was drinking apple juice from a deep, wide brimmed wine glass, sitting on the stone windowsill.
“Right now Bea you do what I tell you. I could tell you to go away from here and check every detail of your dress and appearance with me. Why bother? If you’re going to embrace these roles wanting to be like this is the first rule, and that should mean you choose to dress to please, and choose to make yourself over to me while you’re here.” Something made her want to curl up on the chair, or to get up and walk round, to be more casual, the way he seemed to be. She couldn’t move though. She wanted to stay in her chair, to make no decisions, even as he seemed to be saying to her that all the decisions were hers.
“I’ve chosen already. I want to be your sub. I want to be beaten when you see fit, to be used as you see fit. But I want to please all the time.” He put the glass down on the table, walking towards her.
“You please me. I like you. You make good choices already. I gave you a collar this morning, you chose to wear it and to remain naked.” She blushed, a genuine pink blush. She hadn’t realised she’d been making a choice.
“I just assumed you wanted me naked….” He was standing behind her, hands on her breasts, holding her.
“You assumed right. That’s the rule, not that I will tell you everything you should do, but that I’ll provide you with guidance and you’ll decide.” She wanted to lean back into him, to rock against him. During the night he’d occasionally wrapped her in his arms, then moved away again. She hadn’t felt any kind of loss, but now she felt as if she missed the intimacy of being cuddled. A trade off for the sex? Even wrapped up in his arms, his fingers inches from the sensitivity of her nipples, she felt she could keep arguing with him.
“So what do I wear day by day?”
“It’s simple. Wear what you think I’d want you to wear. Do I want you dressed for sex if you’re spending all day ferrying the kids or sitting in lectures? No. Do I want you dressed for sex if it would be possible, if I were there, that I would use you? Yes.” She held her breath for a moment before answering.
“And that’s mastery, that I do what I think you would want?” She was sure her skin was beginning to flush pink against his as he held her. His hands were moving up her breasts, his forefinger and thumb pinching her nipples, not painfully, but firmly, as if exploring their length. She remembered her young nipples, before pregnancy, before the kids, pink and more cone shaped, popping up under tight fitting tops when she’d least appreciated. Now they were darker in colour, coarser in texture, and with a wider perimeter that seemed to have stolen some of the self erecting flexibility of her youth. She’d tried clamping her nipples when cybering with him. She’d liked the way they looked, distended and stretched, even though it had hurt. She’d used clothes pegs, and she’d used a set of metal clamps she’d bought online. Both had left her whimpering with pain. She’d told him that, and had neglected to tell him that both had made her wet. Why? Scared probably. Discipline was one thing. Everyone knew that discipline was the English fetish. But pain? Raw edged real pain? She didn’t want to admit to enjoying that, or the wave of emotions it brought with it…
Except he knew. He’d beaten her last night, and had taken her straight afterwards, and he’d enjoyed her wetness. An,, she thought, if she didn’t stop lubricating as he pulled at her nipples now she couldn’t even claim it was the novelty of the experience. He was tugging at her teats, pulling her breasts upwards, leading her to rise from her chair and stand up. She responded to the deft instructions of his hands as if she had always been this way, compliant and easily guided. He moved plates and condiments aside, made room for her head and her hair, guided her ankles towards the table legs and secured them with leather belts that he produced, stored for just this occasion, from one of the table’s drawers. Her mind was wandering; what kind of man keeps leather belts ready for just such an occasion in his kitchen drawers?
“I keep them in the table drawers because if people find a locked drawer in an antique kitchen table they just assume you’ve lost the key.” Was he reading her mind?
“Breakfast; the best way to start the day.” As he spoke he was placing a clean linen tea towel under her cheek so that her head was raised off the table top and its scent of wax and old pine. She wanted to shake her head, to try and clear it. Men in porn novels don’t make jokes. They don’t smile and make jokes as they bind you over the table. What was he going to do? Fuck her? Beat her?
Spank her. That’s what it felt like. A full handed spank on her arse, pushing her breath out of her. But it didn’t feel right, didn’t feel like a hand should. The second and third slaps followed, and she was aware of a tingling below her skin, pins and needles making her fear what followed. He stepped back into her line of sight again. He was naked, and hard, which made her smile in turn, but what held her gaze was his right hand. He was wearing a rubber mitt, bright red, with hundreds of little pimples on its surface. He ran the pimples over the skin of her arm.
“It’s for grooming dogs. I’ll bet they won’t use these pictures in the catalogue.” With that he was back behind her, spanking her steadily, vigorously, his hand ranging up and down her thighs, bringing gasps from her when he struck too close to the points where the whip had bitten the previous night.
The cry that emerged from her mouth when he ran the pimpled mitt over her mound was not her own voice. She was sure of that. It wasn’t me god, honest, I’m not begging him…
It was. He stood behind her, wet his cock at her pussy, and then, as he’d said so many times in emails and on the phone, he pushed his way into her backside. She tried to raise herself, to meet him with her arse and to allow him further into her. In response he slid his right hand under her, so that each time his thrusts pushed her downwards her pussy and clit ground across the mitt. He was enjoying her. That was all she thought; he was enjoying her. And how wise was he, to put a tea towel under her face as she dribbled and gasped, trying to get words of gratitude out as he rode her? Shaking all over; she couldn’t remember the name of the singer, or the words of the song, just a chorus, but it was interfering with her thoughts as her thighs trembled, as her stomach trembled and her breath seemed to be squeezed between her chest and the table top. Did he know that her clit was starting to lose it sensitivity from the friction of the mitt? Was that why he rubbed it, slick with her juices, over her right nipple? She was so sensitive it felt harsher than sandpaper, and good. She hung on onto the table as if he had bound her outstretched arms as well, and gave way completely to his final strokes. In her head it didn’t matter if she was imagining the sensation of his juice rushing inside her, or if she really could feel its heat and its force.
He left her on the table while he went away. It didn’t seem odd to be sprawled naked across a table, bound and gaping. She cherished that phrase as soon as it came to mind. She imagined herself writing it to him in an email; whatever happened she would always cherish the morning when he left her bound and gaping on his kitchen table. They’d talked before about speechless sex; now she’d experienced it, and it didn’t seem unnatural. Quite the opposite. Speech was unnecessary until he broke the spell by returning with a stoneware bowl of lemon scented water, the bowl decorated in celtic knots that implied bonds and tethers. She waited as he unfastened the bonds around her ankles, then allowed him to wipe her with the cloth, to sooth away the sweat that had gathered on her shoulders and breasts, to wipe away some of her juices that seemed to have reached halfway down her thighs. She wanted to hug and kiss him.
“I needed that…” He smiled, distantly.
“Did you? I hadn’t thought about that. Not beforehand anyway.” She put the thought of hugging and kissing him aside, and thought only of the warm sting of the cloth on her clit as he wiped away her juices; a wasted but necessary effort.
